I’m dumb and I’m stupid
There is one thing I never told anyone…
And I don’t think I ever can…
In December 2018 I had a notion in my brain
And I started being more serious about it
I was going to ask him to marry me
I had started to plan it out
I was going to ask him next May 2020 on our 10th anniversary
I thought it was a sweet idea
I’m not saying a big giant wedding
I’m saying just a small ROM marriage
I had started by finding out how much it costs to get married
About $45
That’s all it takes
I already have the rings
I ordered them a while ago
I’ve just been waiting for them to arrive
I’d thought things through and been serious
I had taken a close hard look at my finances for the next 1.5 years
I’d already cancelled subscriptions last month
I was changing my phone plan
I have enough money for a large down payment
I had started looking at apartments with my mum, to get an idea of where we should stay
The piece of paper that’s a marriage license
That was going to be our starting point and help to get us our own place
I was already putting thought into action
I was a fool
I was an idiot
I let love cloud my judgement
I let myself be to happy